Sunday, May 30, 2010
From the Mouths of Babies--Attachment
Ever wondered about just how much you "should" hold your baby? What their found sense of independence means? Here's a nice little breakdown for you regarding infant attachment from the babies perspective.
Birth to 2 Months:
• You can hold me as much as you want.
• You can’t spoil me.
• Crying is how I tell you that I need something. I don’t cry to make you angry.
• If you think you have taken care of all of my needs and I am still crying, hold me and
comfort me.
• Smile at me, laugh, sing to me, rock me, dance with me gently, talk to me softly. This is
how our relationship grows.
2 to 7 Months:
• When I look at you, smile, coo, and reach up to you, I want you to respond to me.
• Crying is how I tell you that I need something. I don’t cry to make you angry.
• If I turn away, I have had enough.
• When I am hurt, sick or afraid, I need you to hold me right away.
7 to 12 Months:
• I prefer to be with the few people who look after me the most. I am upset by people I
don’t know.
• I get upset when you leave me. Hug and cuddle me when you leave, and again when you
come back; then I will learn that I am safe and secure.
• Play and talk with me face to face.
• Watch me play and follow my lead. If you always direct my play I will stop trying.
• Try to understand what I am telling you when I cry, smile, babble, or turn away.
12 to 24 Months:
• I am learning about my world. I like to explore, but when I am frightened, I need to come
back to you for comfort. When I feel safe and comforted, I am ready to explore again.
• Even though I can do more things by myself, I still need love and affection.
24 to 48 Months:
• When I want to do things on my own, let me try, as long as it is not dangerous.
• I still need you to keep me safe and comfort me when I am hurt, upset, frightened, or
sick.
Source: Source: Health Canada Mental Health Promotion Website, “First Connections Make All the
Difference”, http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hppb/mentalhealth/mhp/pub/fc/index.html
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