Group: Spouses of Sexual Addiction

We are offering a group for women whose spouses are dealing with a sexual addiction. Meet other women, gain support and increase coping. Contact Kristin at kristin@thehealinggroup.com or 801-461-9060.

Sexual Addiction and The Spouse: The Trauma Model

If your spouse is coping with a sexual addiction you probably have found yourself searching the web to find answers, understanding and support. With all of your searching you also probably came across the term coaddict. This term basically means you are consumed with your spouses behavior, make excuses for, enable, try to control and more or less have your own issues to attend to.

For some, coaddiction/codependency fits and offers a good frame for understanding their part in the sexual addiction. However, for some spouses this frame doesn't fit which can leave them feeling helpless, lost and alone. The Trauma Model for spouses can offer a different frame that might feel like more of fit.

In the Trauma Model, spouses still exhibit codependent behaviors, however, their motivation is not to control their partner but to establish a sense of safety and control in their environment and relationship. So if you are "checking-up" on your spouse, snooping, having compulsive thoughts about the situation, in this model rather than it being to control your spouses it's framed as a means to obtain safety.

Pornography and Sexual Addiction

We are hearing more and more about the prevalence of pornography and sexual addiction in our society. No longer can we say that's a problem that effects "just them", it's creepy in and effecting "us." With it being the cause for over 50% of divorces, it's no longer not a problem we can turn away from. Here are some resources for individuals, couples and families who are facing this problem in their home.

Sexhelp.com
CombatingPornography.com (LDS Specific Resource)

Books:
Out of the Shadows
Understanding the Addictive Personality
Don't Call It Love

Addiction

Often times other expressive mediums, especially the arts, are able to convey an illusive abstract concept in a way that can make you understand what's behind it. Last night I was watching So You Think You Can Dance and choreographer, Mia Michaels, took to the stage via two gifted dancers: Kayla and Kupono. The dance was about addiction and the deceptive, luring way it can have a grip on you and the challenges that come with trying to break that grip. I was EXTREMELY moved to say the least, and thought it was spot on. The choreography and dancers do such a great job at depicting the love/hate, push/pull intimate relationship that exists between the person and "the addiction." If you struggle with addiction and/or know someone who does I'm sure you'll feel the power this number has. I'd love to know your thoughts on this piece and addiction!